Shock

This has been a GREAT weekend! We really know how to celebrate the 4th of July around here, but that's going to come another post... Today I need to write this down- why? I'm not sure, but I know I do.

This morning I was in a Young Women Presidency meeting with our Bishopric, a perfectly normal, uneventful meeting- we have these once a month. All the sudden the Bishop asked me if I realized that Maddie would be baptized on Halloween. This took my breath away. I've been trying not to think about this day, I'm still not sure how to handle it. Why? Well, we had thought that this would not only be the weekend Maddie would be baptized and confirmed a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter day Saints but we could also bless our new baby while all the family was here. Now, that's not to be. How do I handle this weekend and make it a celebratory and happy time all the while knowing I'm missing out on another important event? Ahhh, life is not always how we plan it. Crying through sacrament meeting today was not what I had planned, maybe I should just learn to not plan... Good thing I've still got a few months to figure out how to handle that weekend...

C25K

I'm gonna' do it this time. I've had a goal for a long time to run a 5k. I've participated in 3 of them but never been able to run the whole thing. This time is it. Alesa and I are committed. We both started the Couch to 5k program. I've tried this program before but it's a pain to watch the clock, it makes it so much harder! So, this time I'm using a podcast. It's great! (visions of Tony the Tiger just went through my head...) There is some funky music playing and Robert Ullrey talks to me and coaches me through it. So, if anyone wants to join us September 19th, let me know, we'd love to have you!

Trying

I'm trying, I really am. I am trying to be happy and most the time I am. But somedays I'm not. Somedays the pain from losing our little baby is too much. Somedays the tears come and I don't even really feel sad but the tears just flow. Then there are times like at our testimony meeting at Girls' Camp, I feel like I should be a good example, I feel like I should share the things I KNOW to be true. But I can't. I know if I stand up to talk I will just cry and not be able to say the things that are in my heart, so I just sit and I feel guilty. I have many friends who are pregnant. (One of my dear friend's wife is in labor as I write this) I am thrilled for them, don't get me wrong, but I'm sad for me... I worry about talking about how I feel. I don't want people to think I am "dwelling" on this. The truth is I am "going on with my life". I lead a very full life, I am busy and loved and loving and working and giving and just plain "living". But our tiny baby is always in the back of my mind, I try not to think about him but he's always there. It's not even always sad thoughts but he's always there. I worry about talking about the whole experience because I don't want people to think I don't have faith. I do. I KNOW that what has happened is my Heavenly Father's will. Just because I know this doesn't mean I don't feel sadness but along with the sadness I feel peace and happiness too. Peace that things are as they should be, happiness that there is a plan. But still sadness...

Elder Maxwell

Who doesn't love Elder Maxwell? What an incredible man, what an incredible speaker and what a strong testimony! This morning I woke up early so I turned on the BYU channel and Elder Maxwell was speaking, so good! He was talking about how we are here to learn and the Lord is teaching us and He wants us to learn more and more so he continues to give us learning opportunities. He said sometimes we take the class and then find out we were just "auditing" it and then we have to take it again- this time we hope we get "credit" for it. Love that man!

Goals

Pursue your goals- but enjoy the pursuit.

What a Week!

This has been quite the week. On Tuesday I went in for a little "surgery" to get my kidney stone removed. I'm not sure why it's called surgery because there is no cutting, maybe it's because it requires sedation... It was suppose to be Monday but got put off until Tuesday afternoon. The Dr. went up through my ureter and into my kidney to remove the stone. The stone was bigger than expected so instead of just pulling it out he broke it up with a laser and then pulled out the bigger pieces. The smaller pieces were left behind for me to pass. I've spent all week dealing with that. It is really VERY painful, I'm surprised how painful it is. Doug has still been working the 12 hour days, 7 days/week so I've really had to rely on others- not easy for me, but necessary! My mom came and went to the surgery with me and stayed with me afterwords at home until she had to fly off to Virginia. My mil took the kids Mon. night 'til Wed. afternoon until she had to fly across the country too. The kids had a BLAST and Katie and Maddie got cute new haircuts! Then my sil, Juli, picked up the kids and let them play with her nieces and nephews until she had to leave them with Travis (yup, Travis was even nice enough to watch them). Alesa came up on Thursday and stayed with me and the kids. On Friday the girls went to the Richardsons and Bevan went to the Lewis's house. Thank goodness for all this wonderful help! I don't know what I would have done without all these wonderful people.
Today, I was feeling pretty good this morning, but this afternoon has been terrible! I hope it eases up tomorrow! We'll see. I guess the pain comes from the kidney and ureter being "bruised" plus I still have a stint in. Ahhhh, another learning experience... I'm finished with them, can I just say!?!

There was a very bright spot this week. On Thursday, Katie, Maddie, Dallin and Savannah decided to have a toy sale. They had a bunch of little toys (McDonald's etc...) and were even doing "Buy one get one free". Well, Katie decided that they wanted to donate the money that they made to Primary Children's Hospital. So, as they started telling people they were so generous. The kids ended up making $84 to donate to the hospital. I'm so proud of them. We will be making a trip to the hospital for them to donate that money themselves. (Alesa send me the picture!)

School's Out!

What a fun, fun week it has been. The end of school is so much fun! And watching all the fun activities going on reminds me of my last 6 weeks of senior year of High School- probably the most FUN time of my life. We played and played hard. Sometime I'll have to record all that...

Katie and Maddie had a great last few weeks of school too. They had programs and field trips and carnivals and they did some school work too! Maddie went on a field trip to the Historical Farm and the Park/Zoo and Katie went to Salt Lake City (left at 7am and got home at 6pm) where they saw the capital (and governor's office) 2 movies at the planetarium and the Natural History Museum and the Mountain Man Rendezvous. Both had a great time!

Katie also participated in the 4th grade program she even had a speaking part. She was amazing, the whole program was amazing. They sang fun songs about different aspects of Utah and had 3 different slide shows. Those kids and teachers really worked hard! We also had the AR carnival at her school. All year long the students earn AR points by reading books, if they reach the goal (like 50,000 points) then they get to have a big carnival. The PTA sponsors and puts on the carnival. It is so much fun! Cotton candy, snow cones, blow up toys (3), many games w/ prizes and dunk the teachers in the dunking booth! The kids love it and so do the parents. I was there all day, helping set up, making cotton candy for 6 hours and helping take down- what a joy it is to volunteer in my kids' schools!

Katie and Maddie have both had great teachers this year! We've loved Miss Reynolds and her love and patience with Maddie and her other 1st graders. Maddie's favorite thing about her is she's nice and is a fun reader.

Mrs. Norr was Katie's teacher. I can't say enough good things about her. She is truly an amazing teacher! Unfortunately, she is not going to be teaching anymore because she's having a baby at the first of October. She was always willing to go the extra mile. She loved those kids and showed them. She expected much and gave much. When I was there at the end of the day she would stand outside the door and give them "high 5's" and many of the girls would give her hugs. Not only was she Katie's teacher but I felt she became my friend. We hope to keep in touch with her!

On the last day of school Katie had a "School's Out" party. She invited 8 friends and brought Bevan and Maddie, so there ended up being 10 kids. We went to the ice cream shop where they have a beautiful party room. We had Little Caesars pizza, they got to choose their own ice cream dip flavor with toppings and they played games. I think a fun time was had by all. (except maybe Mom, when they sent favors with the kids- there were horns in the bags and they blew them all the way home!)

I've had a problem remembering my camera lately so I have no pictures of all these fun things, so use your imagination! :)
Now, we start a fun summer. I can hardly wait to see what adventures this summer hold for us!